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About Amy
Formerly a corporate paralegal, I ditched the pantyhose to begin freelancing in 2004. I enjoy long walks to the coffee maker, never setting an alarm clock, and not wearing a bra to "work."
amy(dot)derby(at)gmail(dot)com -
Mar
28
Several months ago, one of my favorite clients began a conversation with a sentence I hate: “I’ve got a proposition for you.”
He asked me to come to his lovely faraway city to give a little talk to a small group of professionals about how blogging could help keep diarrhea germies out of kids’ dinner plates. Although I have plenty of blogging experience on the topic and have worked with enough lawyers and industry professionals to know the hows and whys of it, I really really REALLY did not want to do this.
I have an anxiety disorder and am about one step away from agoraphobic. I took up this lovely work at home life because I’m in love with pajamas. Phrases like corporate attire and business travel are supposed to be distant painful memories. Anyone but me would be thrilled at the opportunity. Networking, more business, great exposure. Yet the mere thought of getting on a plane and spending two days away from home gave me hives.
“I’ll do it,” I typed back… all the while thinking to myself, “I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I will.”
Then I got mono. And I quit smoking. I’m not quite as energetic as I was several months ago, and I’m certainly not very cheerful. While I’ve never backed out of a commitment to a client, I was very tempted many times over the past month to call my client up and open with another phrase I hate: “I regret to inform you…”
A few days ago I got an email from a lady whose little boy died from eating a hamburger. This woman lives in another country and has absolutely no connection to my client or this itty bitty conference. She simply shares the common thread of being the worst kind of victim to the issue I’m here to speak on today. Here is an excerpt from her letter, which I’m posting with her permission:
“… I have seen your passion for the need for better regulation within the United States and hope that your empathy extends to me globally. My son [name removed for confidentiality] died needlessly less than one year ago, and yet he is already nothing more than a statistic. To our government he has no name, but I hold his favorite teddy and weep and whisper my apologies into the air to whatever God may be listening. I could not protect my own child from death.”
This woman found me from a blog post I’d written. She’d read someplace that I do a lot of volunteer work and wanted to know if I would be willing to create a memorial website for her son and help her learn to blog so she could spread the word, in hopes that her son’s death would not be in vain.
As I got on the plane yesterday, I thought of this woman and her little boy. I thought about the many other little kids who go through painful kidney failure — many die — all because of the poison in our food supply coupled with careless meal preparation and bad hygiene habits. My panic attacks seemed small in comparison. If my little bit of knowledge about blogging can help keep even one kid off a dialysis machine, who am I not to want to sacrifice my pajamas?
In a few hours I give my little speech. But I realize now, this talk I’m giving probably isn’t the biggest reason I’m here. Last night at the hotel, half a dozen men gathered around me in their expensive suits and watched me write a blog post. My client said, “Watch her!” in a tone that connoted some sort of genius-level intelligence or superpower, simply because I could type into a little box and hit “publish” — and I had to laugh. Within a few hours, after making a call to a wizard-like blog developer, they were all up and running. The hotel lobby looked like a mini-geek convention, with “Hey, check this out!” being shouted across the room every few minutes, and everyone dashing over to watch with awe as a new photo was uploaded or a new hyperlink was created. That’s what this is all about. This is why I’m here — not just to talk about it, but to help it happen.
When the others bagged their laptops and went out for drinks, I stayed behind to catch up on my favorite blogs and to get some much needed sleep. As I was laying in bed, I thought about why we write, why we blog, why we do anything at all. Whether it’s to help someone else, to make a difference, to tame those insomniac muses of ours… I hope it’s for some bigger purpose than a paycheck. I’m a well-paid blogger, but I certainly don’t do it just for the money. Do you?
Comments
41 Responses to “When Good Clients Ask for Bad Stuff (or, Why I’m at the Poop Conference)”
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Wow, I’m in tears. I am so saddened for the mother who lost her son. I’m also very touched by your passion, not just for writing, but for using your talent with words and understanding of the web and dangerous foods to be of assistance in more ways than one.
This is a very heartfelt post, Amy, and I’m in total admiration of you. Way to go for giving up your pajamas and shoving your fears right out of your way so you can make a difference. Here’s to saving lives!
Wow Amy. You really have me thinking now, as you know I have the blondies at home. Don’t think they’ll be eating at certain places anymore.
We should talk some more about this. Thanks for sharing a very powerful piece today. I know you knocked ‘em out of the park with your speech.
Talk with you soon, my friend.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
Amy:
You are now officially my favorite blogger on the Internet. Seriously! Your post made me cry, and I am blown away by your depth of compassion and caring. Good for you for making the trip despite your fears.
I too would like to use my blogging and writing for more than just making money (and I hope that I have), but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Thanks for reminding me that writing and blogging can make a difference.
holli jo’s last blog post..Upgrading my writing business
@Michele - thanks. You are very sweet.
@Holli- woohoo! I am a favorite! (jk) really though, thanks. You are very nice.
@Brett - I will email you about this when I am home. But a lot of it has to do with contamination rather than proper washing and cooking. Much of it can’t be washed off.
@Amy: thank you, I’d really like to talk with you more about it. I can believe it, someone also told me that “mad cow” couldn’t be cooked out of the meat. I haven’t checked myself, but as a chemical engineer I know that a lot of compounds have pretty high melting points.
So it really made me think. Safe trip - talk with you soon
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
E. Coli can be cooked out. But it can be on spinach, any vegetable near the cow poop. And how many people boil their salads? I don’t know the answer to mad cow. But I can find out.
You’re right, most wouldn’t think to wash veggies properly, even though we see case after case in the media (I can think about a case with strawberries, one with cherries, and a few more in recent memory).
I think I’m going to go and clear James’ woodlot, and learn to farm for myself. I’m getting freaked out, which is probably a good thing.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
Amy,
What a beautiful post. The jammies and the agoraphobia, the mother, the suits… so evocative. I felt like I was right there with you.
I’m just soaking it in. Lovely.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
Kelly - glad you liked. You do have a DiCaprio fetish, don’t you?
Brett - it doesn’t wash off. Even if you wash it (the salad), you can still get sick. Meat, if it’s cooked to the proper temperature and not double-dipped back into contaminated juices, can be eaten without making one sick. But my motto is stay away from meat and anything that’s been near a cow’s ass. Not the healthiest (mentally) way to live, but it keeps me sane. That’s why I boil everything like an OCD freak.
Nope. No fantasy there, strictly reality. Only Mr. Reeves, and not a fetish. A plan. A goofy plan, but what the hey. I’m single, he’s single, it could almost happen, except for the living on opposite sides of the world and not knowing each other thing, but I’m working on that. Maple Leafs tickets, that’s a plan. I mean, he can’t just get those anywhere, can he?
Now that he’s sent me a letter, maybe Leo could introduce me? Hmm…
See I wasn’t gonna go silly here ’cause it’s so beautiful a post and all. Darn.
Later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
It’s been a long friggen day, and I thrive on silly. Almost as much as I thrive on caffeine. al-most
Your glasses are very cool, and I want them. I tried to tell you so on your blog, but I wasn’t able to comment from my iphone. (I know, I know, you are just getting back at me for yesterday!!)
Wow, can’t comment from the iphone? I wonder if TypePad knows this. Sorry.
They’re readers from the grocery store. Check between the Depends and the toothpaste at your local MegaFresh, maybe you can get lucky. And thanks, I like ‘em, too.
Hey, yes, this comment form isn’t dumping me out! I forgot all about that! Eek, must be pretty tired if I can’t remember yesterday.
Until later…
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
That does make sense, it is impossible to completely clean anything. I think I have a good recipe for boiled spinach…
(I’m pretty sure I’ll never eat out again, you inspired me to do a little research online. Frightening.)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
B - Told you if you hung around with me long enough you’d never eat again
K - I emailed you. Because I want to know where you live. But I don’t want to attract you any stalkers…
I guess it was not a matter of if, but of when. Well, keeps the blondies safe that’s a good thing.
If anyone starts stalking K, I’ll ’spam comment’ them into submission…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
Hahahahahahaha.
Have you been to my blog, woman?
Wait, you have, because you saw the glasses.
I run a business. I not only shout where I live (north of Wilmington, Delaware, about 20 min, from Philadelphia), but also my phone number, work email (you get the special treatment - my home email when I comment on a blog), and almost anything I can to get stalkers, whom I call clients.
MegaFresh was a made-up generic, knowing that you’re not around the corner from me, I didn’t thinking telling you to go to the Safeway on Naamans Road would do you much good.
Hahahhahahaha. Tell all your friends. VisionPoints, The Experience Designers. http://visionpoints.net The owner, that’s me, lives in Delaware. Stalk me tonight, because I haven’t got a date and my daughter’s with the only real stalker I’ll ever know until Monday.
Links to it in the sidebar, and the about page, besides the fact that I shamelessly plug my own firm in a post now and then.
Also, I think I crabbed about Delaware in a comment or 20 on MWP today, right before I asked Harry to move to Delaware since he won’t post a picture. How else shall I decide if he can be one of the twenty bloggers I’m in love with?
(Shh, don’t go back and tell them. They think I read only MWP and love only them, forever. They probably think that about you, too, when you probably read 50 law blogs and other stuff, too. It makes them happy.)
On other blogs, I don’t have to offer my hand to get to see what an author looks like. Sheesh!
You know all the hahas are from a loving place, right? Well, you do now.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
Psst. I hope I didn’t overdo.
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
Kelly - did you get my email? All is cool. No worries. I am on a plane, sitting in runway, may never leave… But my connection is going…
Kelly - on *my* blog (whenever it is finally “up”) you don’t need to offer your hand. I’m married anyway.
In fact, if you really wanted to see what I look like, I’d send you a pic. And I’ll probably put one up once I finish the “About” section (workin’ on it)
Amy - have a good flight - err, as good as they can be, anyway.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
Brett,
I liked your last post, by the way. So true. Bridges are just about the best thing… past still touchable, future straight ahead… I can hardly wait to see that post.
Yea, wives get upset about other people offering their hand. Naomi gets away with it, but she is special.
You put it on the About page (maybe w/ a cute but long-distance shot of those little reasons-for-being? Like out playing soccer or something so we don’t all come grab your cuties at once?), and I will wait in line like everybody else. I’m patient.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
Kelly,
Thank you. That means a lot to me. I think it will be an interesting post, for sure. I’ve learned a lot, come a long way, met a lot of great people (including the two nice ladies I’ve been chatting with here today), and I believe I’m crossing over into something much more exciting than I could ever imagine.
I have a funny side story I’ll tell some time (in short, my wife was ego-surfing on my name and saw a comment I’d written at IttyBiz, and said, “WHO’S NAOMI?”) - if you just read the Google summary results and don’t click through the link, you don’t get the whole story…
Oh, I will put up some pics. I’m not too shy that way. If anybody abducted my kids, they’d give ‘em back after a day or so - they’d eat most folks out of house and home!
Talk soon - Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
I steal babies for kisses and giggles, that’s it. I’m the oldest of over 50 cousins (those Irish…), so I used to do a lot of helping at family gatherings. Now the youngest is off to college, mine’s nine, and I miss babies.
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
Where’s the emoticon for “tired and wistful”?
Kelly’s last blog post..Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Me a Letter Today
@ Kelly: well, that’s okay then, although you might have to battle a couple of other people for them, as one or two of them are spoken for already (Amy wants “the cook”)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
Brett - yes, the cook is mine. Bwah ha ha. He calls me “lady” and I like that
Kelly - you crack me up. I need some emoticons from bboards, like the idea one with the questionmarkhair, and the one that snores…
I hope that your day is going well today…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
Amy, Brett,
I don’t steal babies permanently.
“Tired and wistful” took her butt out to a club in Philly until really odd hours and is now groggy and bursting with self-confidence.
The groggy part is news, anyway…
How do you get a four-year old to cook? At nine, with an ex-chef for a mama, mine couldn’t care less. I thought modelling behaviors was supposed to interest kids. Where’s the blinkin’ manual for kids, anyway?
Delaware is glorious today, one of those days when the sky is so blue it’s not realistic at all, 50 snappy degrees out, and blow-you-down windy. Every once in a while this place surprises me.
I hope you are cozy at home, Amy, and I’ll bet you’re awful glad to be back.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Tip of the Week: A Warning as You Walk Out the Door…
Kelly - I’ve also been told his children do laundry and dishes. These are the kind of children I want. Yet I fear breeding slobs like myself.
[Drawers? What are those? Stove? Isn’t that for storing shoes?]
You’ll have to tell me what a club is like. I’ve never been to one. Well, when I lived in San Francisco, I went to a gay (male) biker bar. But I only went there to write poetry. I want to know what a club is like without actually having to go to one. So do fill me in.
Brett - Kiss the blondies for me. And please tell your wife I am gay (if you haven’t already), because I do not want to be the cause of your divorce when she Googles your name and lands on some of our conversations.
Amy,
Club=Perfect place to be totally alone, with 150 of your closest friends. By close, I mean nearby, as in nearly always touching, due to cramped quarters. Sort of like “blog,” with alcohol, high prices, clothing anxieties, sexy lighting and loud music. Must be chosen with care, due to music being a highly personal thing. If at all Irish, begin evening at local pub, to gain “courage.”
LOL. Super cool. Is that on Stuff White People Like yet? It should be. I always wrote my poetry on benches in parks or in a deep corner of the bedroom, either to be near-but-not-near-people, or to be nowhere near people, depending on the mood of the planned poem.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Tip of the Week: A Warning as You Walk Out the Door…
Kelly - I’m in AA. So “courage” for me would not be found in a pub… although anxiety attacks probably would.
I am partially Irish though. I just like to live vicariously through others.
I like to write in parks too. And sometimes in closets. Most of my clothes are piled on the floor (outside the closet), so the closet is a good place to write. Best light in the apartment too. (Disclaimer: I am alarmingly strange in many many ways)
Comment form is forgetting me every time I close the window again. What’s up with that?
Closets are awesome. Mine is too stuffed to write in, but I love that sense of enclosure from having a sit in the closet every once in a while. Like meditation or something.
Many extended family members have been or should have been in same situation as you. That’s why I put courage in quotation marks—it’s not real. I seem to have gotten more laid-back genes. I have the most unaddictive personality possible. Smoked, quit no problem; did other things I shouldn’t, said goodbye to those; drink when it’s interesting, don’t when not. I’ve always considered that extremely good luck as I looked around the family.
Later…
Kelly’s last blog post..Tip of the Week: A Warning as You Walk Out the Door…
I want your genes. I’m addicted to everything.
I’m not sure what’s up with the comment form. That’s definitely annoying. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to fix it………
Ian just likes to cook - I have a feeling he’ll do that when he grows up. We’ll see. I guess he just picked it up, one day.
Yes, believe it or not they do help with everything - for now. Wait until they are teenagers, I’m doomed…
Blondies are kissed, and don’t worry, I was actually telling my wife about how you blog for lawyers and that I thought “hmm, maybe do it for nuclear”, so she knows about our kooky friendship!
I had a thought too - sometimes having an addictive personality can be a good thing (if you got addicted to exercise for instance). I like to think I have a “selectively addictive” personality, I can turn it on and off…
Err, except for coffee. And computers. Oh, and coffee…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the road ahead.
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(Disclaimer: I am alarmingly strange in many many ways)
I’ve always liked alarmingly strange.
Hugs and smoochies for braving the Poop Conference…
Yes, but see, you actually know me. These others are still at risk for the hazards that come from falling out of desk chairs.
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