Strolling through the town block party yesterday, I saw the sign: Pluck a Duck for $1! Perhaps you remember this game from your childhood carnivals? You pick a duck, and if you choose one with a star painted onto its underbelly you get a prize.
Feel like you’re still playing this game as an adult? As a freelancer, I feel like I spend a good amount of my time playing the grownup version of Pluck a Duck.
Clients: They’re not always as they first seem. The mild-mannered, appreciative ones morph into needy, shameless 3am-callers who can’t make up their minds but expect you to read them.
Projects: They seem simple enough, until you get started. Then your expert source bails, your main contact doesn’t respond to your questions, and your deposit check bounces.
Niches: Yours seems fine, until everyone else starts doing it. Or maybe no one else is doing it, and you realize there’s probably a good reason for that. No one cares. No one reads your blog. Not even you.
Any of the above sound familiar?
Life is a game of wet rubber ducks, floating around in the town fountain atop all the shiny pennies fools threw in to make their wishes.
Freelancing is a game of Pick the Winner. You can have the fancy degrees, the sharpest skills, the winning marketing tactics. You can rise from bed each morning chanting mantras of success and riches. But you still have to put your shoes on and get out there and play the game. If you pick a loser, you can always play again.
I had to lose a lot of games before I ever finally won one, and I still pick bad ducks from time to time. How about you?
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
You paint beautifully, with words. I love your pluck a duck analogy…and it is so true. However I must admit, I kept hearing my favorite cry of exasperation the whole time and slightly giggling.
Usually when that duck I have plucked has become that outrageously miserable toxic cloud of poo that we just want off our shoes… I am prone to say fuck a duck. But it does not stop me from going back to the lovely fountain. I just try to get better at spotting the winners.
Love this post. Love it.
Janice Cartier’s last blog post..Style and The Key to A Really Fluffy Smoothie
let’s try this again for the third time. I can relate to picking the wrong duck I found I was in this situation when I was a realestate agent.
Mike Golch’s last blog post..YOU SAY I THINK
Mike — Sorry about the comment problems. I am not sure how I broke the blog, but it seems to be fixed now.
Lots of former real estate agents reading my blog. Kinda scary. 
Janice — Fuck a duck is a good saying. I’m going to have to go back to saying that one. LOL
You do relate a lot to us Real Estate agents. That’s true.
I’ve picked my fair share of ducks. Some winners, some losers. But I’ve learned from every duck and I think that’s the important thing. Duck school. Ha…never thought about it like that.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Weeds
Wendi — LOL @ duck school. I like that.
Hey, Amy -
Great analogy! My favorite game at the carnival was always the one where you shoot water into the clown’s mouth and the first one who pops the balloon on his head wins. Hmm … wonder what that says about me? I never did like clowns …
Rebecca Smith’s last blog post..Did I hear that right?
Some duck games don’t involve picking the one with the star. Instead, you have to pick the “winning number”.
The Carnie hucksters will get around this by by having ambiguous numbers that look the same upside down or rightside up.
Like 18 or 81. Or 89 or 68.
This way, they can decide whether or not to give out the prizes.
I guess to follow up on the analogy, try to make sure the guy holding the ducks isn’t trying to rip you off in the first place.
Friar’s last blog post..I tried, but couldn’t eat this candy…
Fried One — Amen to that, says the non-religious chick.
Rebecca — We had an aim for the clown’s mouth urinal post a while back. You’re late. LOL OH AND I HATE CLOWNS! Blech!
@Amy and Rebecca
All clowns must die.
Seriously. Who out there, honestly and truly, thinks the creepy grimacing circus-clowns are funny and enjoyable?
Where did the urban myth start that this is what kids actually like?
Friar’s last blog post..I tried, but couldn’t eat this candy…
Friar — I think it started with a serial killer.
@Amy
What about that scene in “Poltergeist” when that F**king clown doll grabbed the kid and dragged him under the bed?
(Shudder).
I hate clowns. HATE ‘Em!
I think that will be on my next rant posting!
Friar’s last blog post..Bob Dylan is Messing With Us.
@ Amy: Great analogy in this post. I had to grin when you mentioned projects as it reminded me of certain memories of hell with the main actor being a clown (there you go Friar).
Picking the winner does become easier over time but isn’t always guaranteed. Good happens when clowns do become winners because of the fuck @ duck approach. Sometimes magic does happen indeed.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..The Remarkable Person Within You
@ Amy and Friar: Clowns are meant to be scary! Um, have you met Batman’s Joker lately??
Rebecca Smith’s last blog post..Did I hear that right?
Amy: Ah, yes. Picking the winners. I’ve so had my share of non-winners, esp. in the beginning, when I was desperate for any client. In fact, not much has changed there, sadly (re needing more clients). However, I now know what to look out for, and desperate or not, I know how to say no. Just did this morning.
steph’s last blog post..And Now for Something Completely Different: Life of Steph
Friar — I do remember that movie, but I can’t remember the clown. Must have blocked that out as part of the PTSD.
Monika — You’re funny.
I’m with you. I enjoy when the clowns become winners; that has happened to me a time or two! Yes, it does get easier to spot, but you’re right — no guarantees.
Rebecca — The batman’s joker scares me. I saw your post on the various new dictionary words; I think it’s time they add a new definition for clown. I think more people associate clowns with fear than with happy funny stuff.
Steph — Good for you for saying no. I used to be bad at that too, when I was feeling desperate for work. I had to learn the hard way, to trust my gut. There would be so many times my instincts would say “don’t do it or you’ll be sorry” but I’d talk myself into doing it anyway because I felt like I needed the money badly enough. In the end, I’d always learn that it wasn’t worth it. Then I’d try it again the same stupid way the next time. I’m a slow learner.
But I’ve learned now!
clown (kloun): A garishly dressed, nightmarish being whose purpose is to terrorize people, especially children.
Rebecca Smith’s last blog post..Did I hear that right?
That works!
clown (kloun):
2. A character often portrayed in low-budget movies as the main villain, frequently a child molester and/or serial killer.
Friar’s last blog post..Bob Dylan is Messing With Us.
Too true. For my next post, I should dress up like a child and skin a kitten on video. Now, how could I work that into freelance writing? LOL
Yes, I do sometimes pick bad ducks but I always use it as a learning experience. If I’m torn on a decision, I try to use my instincts. I tend to believe that bad ducks are just a part of life that we all have to deal with.
The batman joker scares me too. The old one didn’t (Jack Nicholson) but this new one really bothers me for some reason. I usually see all the superhero movies but I’m not sure about Dark Knight.
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..A is for Apple
@Melissa
How about the Cesar Romero as the Joker? from the original 1960’s Batman TV show)?
That wasn’t scary…that was just STUPID.
Friar’s last blog post..Bob Dylan is Messing With Us.
Hi Amy - I love those duck catching sort of games - they’re addictive. Unlike those clients who wake you up in the middle of the night.
I’ve had quite a lot of bad clients over the years but also a lot of good ones. The trouble is, it’s the bad ones who drain your energy so much.
After a while I learned to sack the bad ones and refuse to work for them. But as you say - you don’t always realise what they’re going to be like until you’re in the middle of their work.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Self Confidence - Does Doing Beat Telling?
Melissa — It’s taken me a while to learn to go with my instincts, but that’s usually the best plan for me too. Definitely. Jack Nicholson only scared me in The Shining.
Friar — Cesar Romero scares me for various reasons.
Cath — Yes, being caught in the middle of the job and then realizing the client is a bad duck is the kicker. Even with my fine toothed bad duck screening process, a few bad ones slip by once in a while. Does make me appreciate the good ones more!!
Hm, you took something fun that I enjoyed as a kid and turned it into kind of a depressing metaphor.
Actually, my favorite game at the fair was the one where you got a handful of darts and had to chuck them at the balloons. Success was based more on your willingness to master a skill. I’d rather think of writing that way (though I don’t deal with clients and their whimsies, so I am allowed to be more optimistic).
Anyway, best wishes to you all, and hope you get the ducks with the good prizes hiding underneath!
Lindsay’s last blog post..Apply the Daffodil Principle to Your Writing
Lindsay — Those dart games were fun. At our carnival, the prizes were always glass pictures of TV characters. I was pretty good at that game, and I ended up with four or five Bart Simpsons one summer.
The dart game is a metaphor for a whole other post, I think. Mastering a skill would of course be a whole other thing. My point here is that there will always be times when the game of chance factors in and you pick a loser. No amount of skill or careful planning will protect any freelancer from once in a while having to deal with a “bad duck” — no matter how cheerfully we approach our game. Of course, there are always hopefully going to be many more good prizes than bad. 
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