Most everyone agrees that new freelance writers commonly fear taking the plunge to query a market or apply for a gig. If you’re just starting out, the anxiety is almost expected. But what about those of us who aren’t so new anymore?
I got an email today from a woman who has been freelance writing for several years longer than I. She’s graciously granted me permission to post part of her email here:
“I calculated today that my hourly earning is less than $15. I know the reason. I am in a rut due to anxiety. The number of new jobs I applied to this year I can count on one hand. I fear I am not qualified. I fear they will hire me and I will do a lousy job. I go to write the response and the panic starts. It is easier to stay in my rut and work for the same old lower pay clients, but I need to get off the hamster wheel or file bankruptcy for Christmas. I read on your private blog about your anxiety disorder and hoped maybe you have some way of overcoming your own fear that could help me find courage.”
Remember in the movie What About Bob? where Bill Murray is waiting at a pay phone for his shrink to call him back, and he says, “If I pass out or lose consciousness or black out or if something explodes, could someone answer the phone and tell Dr. Marvin that I was here?”
I feel that way quite often. There’s no courageous moment that comes over me where I suddenly feel like, “Hey, I can do this!” I’ve never felt brave, not for one day in my life. But I’ve done a lot of things I thought I never could do, simply because I’ve forced myself to do them.
In general, whether I’m fighting the anxiety of going to the grocery store or of applying for a new job, I’ve adopted the following quote as my mantra:
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” (Ambrose Redmoon)
I consider earning enough money to pay my bills to be one of those important things.
Some tips, based on my own experience:
1. Start small, but set goals.
Whether your goal is to reply to one new job per day or two query a new market each week, start slowly and keep at it.
2. Tell yourself something different.
If I tell myself, “I really need to get this job,” I’ll get an instant gut cramp. If I tell myself, “This would be a fun job, but if I don’t get it I can always apply for something else,” my gut stays cramp-free.
3. Remind yourself of reality.
How we feel is different than how things are. Sometimes I feel inferior, like I’m not good enough for one job or another. In reality, I might be the most qualified applicant. If I don’t apply, I’ll never know.
4. Give yourself options.
If you’ve ever talked a two year old out of a tantrum, you know this trick. “You can play with the truck or the blocks. Which toy do you want?” I use this trick on myself when I can’t get myself motivated to beat my own fear of rejection. “You can apply for this blogging job or that content writing job. Which job do you want?” This way, I have to apply for one of them. No cop-out.
5. Just do it.
Nike’s got the best slogan ever. If we sit around waiting for fear to pass, we’ll be too arthritic and blind to work. My father taught me to swim by tossing me into the deep end. Sure, I still have nightmares, but I learned to swim. If he hadn’t, I’d still be using those orange arm floaty things.
Have you ever feared rejection? Experienced anxiety about applying to a writing job? How did you handle it? Have any tips to share?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I was afraid to submit to write-from-home.com, Amy, because I felt like my articles weren’t good enough.
*Light bulb*
Now I have added Write-from-Home to my publishing credits.
I never feel like my writing is good enough, but I keep telling myself if I don’t submit I’ll never know if I would have been published at that publication. Also, if I never query, I’ll never know if it would have been accepted.
I’ve battled panic disorder in the past and it’s no fun. Sometimes it still shows up. Thinking positive and finding sources of daily encouragement and inspiration helps a lot (herbal tea doesn’t hurt, either.)
My heart goes out to the reader that sent you this email, but I know she’s in good hands with your guidance and encouragement ;0)
The best advice I ever received: “Accept rejection and move on.”
Smiles,
Michele
Michele,
Well, I of course am glad you overcame your fear and submitted.
That’s good advice about accepting rejection and moving on. Unfortunately, rejection crushes some people. Rejection doesn’t bother me as much as the fear of not being good enough. I’d rather someone reject me up front than hire me sometimes — it’s that risk of not being able to do the job well, feeling of inferiority, that gets to me. For the most part, I’ve learned to go ahead and apply despite my (often irrational) fears, but it’s still a challenge to do so.
Thanks for sharing about your experience with anxiety, also. I think anxiety disorder is generally something people feel ashamed of, and it makes them feel isolated. Considering how many people take anti-anxiety medication these days (I’ve recently ghostwritten an article on the subject — the statistics shocked me), you’d think more people would feel comfortable talking about anxiety disorders. Sad how our society works.
Anyhow, thanks for stopping by and for adding your own kind and wise words. I really appreciate it.
Michele - I’m glad you decided to post here too.
Amy - I don’t know what it is about your topics but they always seem to address what I’m thinking about. I keep getting told by people that I should try writing, and I really would like to try. But fear of rejection gets in my way.
I have researched many of your blogs. I’ve even bought the book from Cheryl Wright that you recommended. Where I get discouraged is that I don’t have anything published. I don’t know how to overcome that, while at the same time realizing I have to start somewhere. Any ideas??
Hi Grandy,
I’m glad you stopped by.
I really recommend trying to write for an online publication first. It’s easier to get an article accepted and it’s usually not such a long wait before you hear back. Then again, I don’t really consider myself to be a “magazine writer.” More experienced writers will likely disagree with me. Some people think you should just jump in and start querying print magazines. It really just depends on what you want.
I’m going to do a separate post about this, so others can offer their opinions and tips.
I, too, used to be terrified of trying anything new. I took a break when I had the twins and had a difficult time of getting back into the swing. Anxiety problems do make dealing with rejection more scary. The after-birth depression doesn’t add much to the experience either.
Excellent advice, Amy!
Most of us go through this at one time or another, and I’m sure your insightful counsel will help more than one writer overcome that often-paralyzing fear of rejection that can hold us back from success.
Thanks for a great post!
Jeanne
Jayne,
Sorry I didn’t see your comment sooner! I think having twins would put me out of my swing for a while longer than it did you, so you’re ok in my book.
Jeanne,
Thanks! And I certainly hope it does.
Please do comment and discuss.
We love a good conversation!
Please use a name when commenting. Does not have to be your real name or full name. But responding to folks calling themselves "Make Money Writing Online" and such kinda sucks. Calling yourself keywords will likely get you thrown into my spam filter.