The above sign hangs in the window of a local business. I did not manipulate the photo in any way. This is really what this business is telling its customers. Call Us. Telepathically. We Dare You.
Dear Dumbass: As someone who just quit smoking in February, who struggles constantly to stay quit, allow me to share some perspective. Quitting smoking is not a cheery time in one’s life. We’re not feeling inspired enough to drive by, see your sign, drive around for a parking space, and walk in. This is bad for us, your potential customers, and it is also bad for you.
As absurd as the above is, I have had clients who are not much better. Their website copy is god awful, and they email me and say “My tech guy is making me a blog, can you write it?” No mention of needing the poor copy re-written, so I can straight off assume they’ll settle for poor blogging too. Sometimes it’s a prestigious firm practicing in an area I would love to blog about, and I have the free time, and they’re willing to pay me enough that it should be worth my while.
But in the back of my mind I’m wondering, do I really want to associate my name with a firm whose website copy looks like something my autistic three-year-old niece wrote up in preschool? On the other hand, could I sleep at night knowing I passed by what could be my best paying client while allowing a lawyer to continue to walk around with the business equivalent of toilet paper hanging out of his pants?
How do you politely tell someone their copy sucks? Should you even bother trying?
What if the person doesn’t come to you? Do you go to them? Assuming the business offers up a phone number, do you call them and risk making waves at the hope of getting business or simply doing a good deed? Or do you walk by?
I’ll admit, I’m a walker. I see it as life is too short, I have plenty of work, and if people are too ignorant to see they’re driving themselves into the ground with their stupidity then who am I to try to stop them? Thin the herd. I’ve walked by the above-referenced sign at least three times a week all summer. I’ve never gone inside, never written them a letter, never looked them up in the yellow pages. If they don’t care about their business, why should I?
Selfish? Maybe. Am I in the minority here? Most definitely. I know, because I’ve received countless emails over the past year from freelancers pointing out my typos, offering grammatical assistance, and otherwise wasting their time and mine making suggestions I haven’t asked for or wanted. Most of the time, these emails are done very rudely. But even when the emails are politely worded, they rub me the wrong way. The name of the sender sticks in my mind, filed under the mental subfolder of “has nothing better to do” — and there they remain, forever etched into my brain as someone I will never contact to work for me.
If someone has already hired me, and I have established enough of a relationship where I feel comfortable bringing up suggestions on how to improve site copy, etc., of course I do say something (in a kind way). But as a cold call? Nope, not me. Do you?
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m going to have to come back and leave a better comment when I can quit laughing my head off….
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Big Erasers
Cold calling = cold sweat.
Does that answer your question?
I haven’t had one good response doing that, and it had nothing to do with pointing out their copy, even. It was just trying to put me out there.
bah.
steph’s last blog post..Brainstorming Names
Wendi — I probably should have added a “put down your coffee first” disclaimer before the photo. Sorry.
Steph — I hate the phone, so cold calling isn’t my thing either. I have had a good amount of success in pitching my services by email, but I would never pitch my services by pointing out how bad their copy/content/blog is. I don’t think I’d have much luck that way. As soon as you insult someone, you turn them off; they no longer are listening to the part about how great you are or what you can do for them. Ya know? Bah is right.
I guess those Great Poeple think you know the phone number by osmosis.yot are supposed to touch the sing and than you will know the number magically.
and if you buy this one I’ll sell you some vacation land in Florida! yeh that ’s the ticket!
Mike Golch’s last blog post..google reader.
Mike — I’ve always wondered whether acupuncture works, for anything really. Something about big hot needles is a turnoff for me, so unfortunately I will never know. Here is a funny video of the standup commedian Bill Envall (the “here’s your sign” guy) on that subject: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Tgxj3gBSVIc
Amy
Yes, this post needed a spew alert.
You know the cold call thing is the great Realtor debate. New Realtors are encouraged to pick up the phone and start calling strangers and ask..”Do you want to sell your home?” My thought was..”Well if I did, I certianly wouldn’t use some jerk who bothered me on the phone during my dinner hour” So I wouldn’t do it. I built my business by referal and by meeting people in person and by being a big mouth about who I was and what I did. There are no secret agents and no silent busineses that make money..,OK..except maybe the Mob.
But you don’t have to be a jerk about it and bug people to death. Follow the golden rule. If you wouldn’t like it done to you,don’t do it.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Big Erasers
Wendi — I’m all for THAT golden rule. I had someone call and ask if I wanted to sell my house once. I told them I’d have to buy one first, as I live in an apartment.
Amy,
“I told them I’d have to buy one first, as I live in an apartment.” LOL. I get called about putting siding on my “house” all the time. I live in an apartment building. Beyond that, the place is brick. No and no.
Sign of needing more caffeine: I didn’t notice the flaw in the sign until I read your very funny take on it. I had to look again to see the point. That is unbelievable!
There is a guy who made his career telling people what they didn’t ask him about their marketing: Mark Stevens. He wrote Your Marketing S***ks, in which he says that he cold called, or maybe cold-mailed (I forget), people he had targeted with that exact phrase. To me it works better in the book, but he made a living telling people, “You marketing s***ks and I can fix that for you.”
(Awesome, awesome book, whether you like how he came up with the title or not.)
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Dreaming BIG when you still feel small
You’re picture made me laugh out loud, that was great. And I’m in your boat, if a client is stupid and careless, I’m just not likely to waste my time with them and move on.
Alex the Freelance Twin’s last blog post..The new .me domain extension
“Call us”…with no phone number.
HAHAHAHHA!
What a tool.
(Sorry, it’s Friday, it’s been a rough week, I don’t have a more clever comment to add).
Friar’s last blog post..Friar’s Random Rants (Part II)
LOL! How incredible.
I often have that same philosophy - just walk on by. If they don’t care, I don’t either.
Sometimes you have to wonder, though . . . on a rare occasion, I might just say something.
And yeah, a coffee spewing warning would have been good.
~ Annie
Annie Anderson’s last blog post..When I grow up
Kelly — I used to get the siding thing too. The first time a siding salesman called, I had to ask what siding is. I’ve never owed a home. And here anyway, apartments are made of brick.
Dumbasses.
Alex — I’m glad I’m not the only one in my boat. I was starting to think I was rare on my stance, seriously. All the time, I hear freelancers talking about writing to potential employers telling them they need a site redesigned or edited, etc., and I got to thinking that (once again) maybe I’m the freak.
Thanks for stopping by. I’ve always wanted a twin. 
Friar — I’ll forgive you this time. But only because it’s Friday, and you ranted so well earlier in the week.
Annie — Thanks for visiting. Sorry about lack of spew warning. Glad I’m not alone!! Just out of curiosity, what would be the instance where you’d take the time to say something? Like, it looked like a good opportunity for work, or you just couldn’t help yourself?
Amy,
I would never point out how bad someone’s copy is. However, I have on rare occasions sent private e-mails to bloggers I know and respect to point out errors - only things like a glaring typo in the headline. And I only do it if I know the blogger and believe they would want to correct the error. I would appreciate someone letting me know if they saw a glaring error in a headline on my blog. I hope I am tactful as my goal is to be helpful, not hurtful. This has happened only a few times, but all of us make mistakes - and it’s much easier to spot someone else’s mistakes than our own.
Lillie Ammann’s last blog post..How to Write an Interview-Winning Resume
Lillie — I have done that too, if it’s someone I know very well, as you say. I wouldn’t dream of correcting a stranger, as I’d be afraid of coming across as a jerk. Even a politely worded email can come off badly if the person doesn’t know me, I figure. I always appreciate these types of emails from folks I know, and even from folks who are just trying to be helpful. But when it comes from a stranger with a pitch for their services, I can’t help but think, “Do you honestly have nothing better to do?” Maybe that’s harsh, but it’s the first thing I think of.
I agree, Amy. I don’t think it’s appropriate to point out mistakes to pitch services.
I maintain the Web site for my church, and recently our priest got a pitch saying something like “you’ve got a great Web site but it needs SEO to get better traffic.” He responded with the latest stats and said, “explain exactly how you would improve on this traffic.” Of course, he got no reply.
Lillie Ammann’s last blog post..How to Write an Interview-Winning Resume
Lillie — You’d think folks making those sorts of pitches would include some information, or at least give the information if asked for it! I have gone to websites I think would benefit from a blog, and pitched my services that way, as I do a lot of blogging work. But in the email, I give them plenty of information, and I don’t do it in a rude way. I simply do it like, “This is what I do, if you’re ever interested in adding a blog to your web presence.” There is no need to be rude. I wonder if the person who contacted your church was intimidated to reply? If so, he probably shouldn’t be emailing people asking for work. That’s a bit silly. Not to mention, most churches don’t have a big budget to be throwing around. I do a lot of non-profit work — none for churches, but most don’t seem to have the money to spend. It’s good to hear your church website is doing so well though!
Amy,
Your approach is professional and appropriate. Introducing yourself to potential clients and letting them know what you do is far different from rudely telling someone they need your services because what they’re doing is bad.
Lillie Ammann’s last blog post..How to Write an Interview-Winning Resume
Thanks, Lillie. That’s how I see it too! Hope you’re having a great weekend.
Hi Amy - That business really does not deserve to have any customers. How on earth have they not noticed that they’ve omitted the phone number?
I would not cold call anyone to tell them their site sucked and I could improve it. Mind you I wouldn’t cold call anyone anyway.
I’ve had calls by people before telling me my site sucks and they can improve it and get me heaps of traffic. I usually ask them for the url of the site while they’re on the phone, then ask them why their own site seems to be getting very little traffic.
And it’s no joke, not one of them seem to have busy sites, yet they expect you to believe they can work wonders for you.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..The Everlasting Gift That Costs Nothing
Cath — You bring up a good point. Perhaps this was also the case of the SEO person who contacted Lillie’s church! I once had someone email me and offer his proofreading services to me for free, to build his portfolio. I didn’t really have any work for him, but I am always happy to help out someone who is just getting started. So I checked out his site, thinking I’d keep him in mind, and his site was full of typos. Probably not a good sign for a proofreader. So I politely passed. But this seems to be common practice by new freelancers in any field. I call it the “I don’t know what I’m doing yet, but let me practice on you” syndrome. I probably need to edit that down, as it’s a little long.
I have emailed a fellow blogger about a typo but only if it’s someone I’ve already developed a relationship with and I know they’d appreciate it. Funny thing… sometimes people send me these types of emails or comments and I am extremely grateful but other times it really irks me. I think it all depends on tone and tact. As for businesses, no. Never.
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..When it All Comes Crashing Down
Melissa — I am the same way. If it’s someone I consider a friend online, or at least someone whose name I’ve seen in my comment section, and the email is worded nicely, I am grateful. If it’s some random stranger who comes off as a pompous jerk, it irks me.
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