There is no longer any denial of the links between creative people, including writers, and depression. I have struggled with depression since childhood, since long before I began my freelance writing career. However, I’ve noticed a connection between the isolation of my self-employment as a freelance writer and the frequency of my bouts of depression.
Over the years, I’ve learned the major triggers and contributing factors that make my depression worse. The major ones are:
* lack of sleep
* not eating regular meals
* feeling alone
* worrying about money
* excess stress
As a freelance writer, my triggers for depression are almost built into my career.
Example: I take a rush assignment and stay up until late hours of the night working. I skip dinner and breakfast. I’ve set myself up for lack of sleep and blood sugar issues.
Example: I foolishly believe I can rely on a client to pay me the $1500 he owes me for a project — after all, he’s always paid on time before. When the check doesn’t arrive by the end of the month, I start to panic about the rent. Now I’m stressed and worrying about money.
Example: My friend from San Francisco emails to say he’ll be in town for a few days. Unfortunately, I’ve already committed to a project which I know will require me to work 15 hour days the week my friend will be here. Because I feel alone, I begin to wonder whether it’s worth it to work in such an isolating profession.
9 days out of 10, I love what I do. I enjoy working at home. I appreciate not having to wear a suit. I don’t miss the office politics or endless gossip. But, like all other professions, a freelance writing career has its drawbacks.
Unfortunately, when I’m depressed, I tend fall back into the workaholic patterns that were necessary to survive a paralegal career. After all, if I’m working, I have no time or energy to concentrate on how crappy I feel. It’s either that or not get out of bed, blow off clients, and ultimately flush my career down the toilet. Not the perfect balance, to be sure, but for me, that’s just how it is.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve long believed that most creative-types have melancholic temperaments… just seems to go hand in hand. Makes me feel better if I look at it that way, too.
“Melancholic” works for me, too.
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