Apr
1
Confessions of a Closet Slob
Filed Under writing from home
When I first tell people I have OCD, they always assume I keep a tidy house. Then they come over…
“How do you live like this?” they ask, tripping over a pile of books as they enter. “You make thousands of dollars a week. Why don’t you own a bookshelf?”
“I used to have one, but I gave it away. I could never find anything,” I say. “If you really want to see something, check out the bedroom.”
Bravely, they enter. They flip the switch. Light illuminates piles of clothes.
“What do you use the closet for?”
“I go in there to write poetry,” I tell them. As they reach for the top dresser drawer, I add, “That’s where I keep my important paperwork.”
Shocked and confused, they head for the kitchen expecting to find piles of dirty dishes, mold growing out of the sink, mushrooms springing up from the floorboards.
“It’s spotless,” they say, shaking their heads.
“I’m not nasty,” I clarify. “I just can’t stand organization.”
Blog Land is full of folks who like to talk about organization. For business, for freelancing, for blogging. Down to how I should feng shui my inbox, everyone thinks they’ve got the next greatest tip to save me time.
“Get up earlier,” they say, as though by staying up until 4am (when they’re just getting up) I’m committing some sort of crime.
“Get a filing cabinet,” they suggest, because surely alphabetizing the hundreds of documents will make me want to look at them.
“Use this time management software,” they insist, possibly only because they want the commission.
I always laugh, because here’s the thing: I’m not unhappy. The way I do things makes them cringe, but I’m just fine. When I’m unproductive, it’s not because of my filing system or the way I do my laundry. It’s because I’m having the same kind of goof-off day everyone else has from time to time, and you know what? I’m ok with that. I accept myself, sock-piles and all.
My point — and I do have one — is that what works for 99% of people doesn’t work for me, and it might not work for you either. I’m not saying never take anyone’s suggestions. I’m not saying don’t try to improve yourself in areas you feel could use some bettering. I’m simply saying being a misfit isn’t such a bad thing.
If you’re happy, don’t waste your time worrying about what other people say. Well-intentioned though they may be, only you can know what works for you and what doesn’t.
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66 Responses to “Confessions of a Closet Slob”
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About Amy Derby
Formerly a corporate paralegal, I ditched the pantyhose to begin freelancing in 2004. I enjoy long walks to the coffee maker, never setting an alarm clock, and not wearing a bra to the (home) office. I can be reached at amy.derby (at) gmail.com.
I hear ya, sistah.
I’m a big clutter monster, but I can’t stand dirt. Or germs. I even developed a system of preparing chicken that completely avoids leaving the ickiness on any surface in the kitchen. I do not wash my hands too often, however.
Re chicken, not a bad idea on the salmonella front.
I’m not big on the hand washing either. That movie As Good As It Gets — as funny as it was — makes EVERYONE who’s ever seen it ask me how often I wash my hands.
Thanks for saying this! Every time I unsubscribe from another productivity blog, it’s because I’m thinking, “maybe it works for you buddy, but not me.” There is nothing wrong with staying up till 4 in the morning by the way!
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..Brief Announcement
I know what you mean. Subscribing to productivity blogs is only another time-waster for me. LOL
PS I hope you’re feeling better!!
Amy, this post is a riot! I am really neat but I am so with you at loving and accepting ourselves as is. I don’t think any of fit neatly into a box and darn those people who try! While all those people are spending money on gadgets and systems, learning to use them and then switching when the next big thing comes along, I’m busy working and living at no specific hour.
Karen - thanks. LOL I do try to
I’d be completely nocturnal if not for some of my clients and their “call me ASAP” syndromes. Thanks for stopping by!
causebe a riot as often as possible.Pssst… Karen… when I click on your blog link, I get a 404 error. Upgrading?
I don’t have OCD but I do have mild ADD (and an ADD personality to match), which means I don’t live as most people do… and it works for me.
All that organization advice? I try. I really do. I have calendars and post its and reminders and clocks and timers and alerts and all kinds of shit. I make it happen like a demon for a week and then…
well…
I get distracted. Or it loses its attraction. Or it’s not as much fun anymore. Or it’s old news. Or I discovered the one tinest error or bug that flaws the whole appeal of the system.
“How can you live like this,” my mom asks, shock written all over her face. My house is clean (not spotless), it’s lived in (not messy) and my desk is a holy freakin’ tornado terror (but all my bills are paid the day they arrive).
“I dunno,” I shrug. “It works for me.”
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..When Freelancing Isn’t Free
You rock, Imperial Hero Dude. Your mom would probably get along well with my mom…
I sometimes think I have ADD. I’m not sure where the line is drawn between tendency and disorder, but I’m possibly in there somewhere…
My doctor said that even the lines between personality and disorder are blurred, so he said that in reality, I could probably point it to my ADD-tendency personality as opposed to a true problem.
And he also said to just cope with what works
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..When Freelancing Isn’t Free
Interesting. You’d never get anything that straightforward out of a US dr.
The cook says “lady”
Amy - I admire you because you get it - use what works for you.
My workplace has this obsession with “good housekeeping” lately. People go around and do audits to make sure your office isn’t messy.
I’m not kidding…
So now my office is really clean. We all have clean offices. That’s great, except a lot of us are free thinkers.
So now we can’t find anything. And then the bosses ask, “why is this report late?”
Umm, because you made us spend 3 freakin’ days cleaning up, and now we can’t find anything…
PS - James, you really are my lost brother, brother…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..why six weeks.
Hi Ian!! LOL
They did that to us as the firm. Someone would regularly come around and tell me to move my boxes, tidy my desk. Gave me no filespace, and law firms don’t throw away paper. I was just supposed to wiggle my nose and make it disappear!! So I feel your pain.
Ian’s snoring right now LOL he was pretty tired after “road”…
I’ve fought back in my own way, sort of (not like any of them care).
I took some black tape, and marked out a little box on the desk, about 4 x 6 inches. I printed a little sign and laminated it, then taped it beside the box.
The sign says “pen zone”…
most people laugh at it, some say nothing.
I need a red stapler. Swingline.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..why six weeks.
Way to rebel friend. You show em. LOL
Yeah. I’m pretty hardcore…
Wait until I bring my fingerpaints to work.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..why six weeks.
I think this post proves that everyone has to come up with their own system that works for them.
While sometimes it may be helpful to read other’s ideas, it’s best not to get discouraged if something isn’t right for you.
I hold onto the best ideas (the ones that work for me) and forget about the rest.
Laura Spencer’s last blog post..The Twitter Experiment
Brett - LOL at fingerpaint!!
Laura - exactly! Take what you like and leave the rest. My motto.
@ Amy - I thought you’d like that!
(*clutches at his fingerpaints and mutters ’set the building on fire’ to himself*)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..why six weeks.
I try to pick and choose where my neatness is important. My desk at work is important, my desk at home, not so much. Right now, I;m looking at 5 business cards, four pieces of paper, a phone, and a wallet sample on my desk, and I’m just cringing, and will probably clean it off as soon as I’m done typing this, because writing about it is just making it worse.
But I’ve got that much crammed into a corner of my desk at home, and I don’t give it a second thought. The only reason it’s not on the floor is because the pile down there is too big already.
Erik Deckers’s last blog post..I’ve trademarked “the”
Erik - That is very interesting!! When I had a job with a desk, that was messy too. If it was clean, the times I was told to clean it, I could never find anything! But I like your pick and choose method.
Amy- I cannot tell you how much junk I have on my desk. My monitor alone boasts a little wind-up reaper guy, a purple rubber duck with horns (from Gen), a small Buddha, and a Ty bear.
When I had my first job with a desk, my supervisor was always getting after me to clean it, while I preferred working until the very end. It got to the point that she scheduled clean-up for everyone just so I would have to do it.
Mer - I am going to need a picture of that duck!!
I’m on it.
Have you seen the movie “Amalie“?
If it is the movie I’m thinking of, then no. I don’t do subtitles.
The cook says “lady”
I’ll be around later tonight for a chat…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the power of one.
Amy,I have to admit that I’m a giant pack rat.Some of the stuff I have I have to keep seven years(the realestae paperwork)other stuff I just keep.
mike golch’s last blog post..Gramma hands
Hey Brett! And Ian! “Lady” says hi. (That cracks me up every time!!!!!!!!)
I’ve got family coming over in a bit — you know, because we need to cram a few more people in here.
I probably won’t be back online until you’re in bed. 
You’ve really got to adjust your clock so that you’re not just getting up when I’m going to bed!! 
Get those kids trained to be nocturnal. LOL
BTW, I liked the car pic. I tried to respond to that email but had no connection — I think I was on the train. I think I deleted it. :-\
Hey Mike! I’m a HUGE pack rat!! I save everything. Not just important stuff either. So I know the feeling! Hope you are doing ok.
Hi Amy - Ian’s watching Alvin & The Chipmunks with his brothers and sister right now
No worries, I might even surprise you tonight - as it’s the Thursday night “bitch ‘n stitch” with the boys, I might still be up when you are free
if not there’s always tomorrow!
Yeah, I should train them to be nocturnal… that would be handy, we could go on raiding parties to save money on food LOL
I’m glad you liked that, hey, you can borrow it for your wedding car if you like
the seats are leather so the cake will wipe off…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the power of one.
Well I don’t drive but maybe the wife will. LOL My poor imaginary wife, lotta pressure!!!
I got the chipmunks for Angie’s daughter yesterday. She thought that part they play at the menu screen was the movie. She kept saying “play it again” — because it repeats itself if you don’t hit any buttons. I like the hoola hoop song myself.
Ok, the family has arrived. Gotta put the iPhone away now.
She can drive my car any time, I’m sure she’ll be awesome if she’s anything like you
or if you want I can teach you so you can drive her around
LOL “hoola hoop” song is playing right now - have fun and talk with you soon my friend…
Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the power of one.
Brett - The hoola hoop song plays for pretty much the entire movie, doesn’t it?
I’ve had it stuck in my head all day! LOL
I think I’ll be going to bed before 3 or 4am today, as I have a major headache!!!!!!!
Hope you have a good night!! (Kiss the blondies…)
Hi Amy: yes, pretty much - kind of like watching the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon or the Smurfs, one song through the whole show…
That’s not good - I hope that you feel a bit better now. I get headaches a lot these days too. I think I spend a lot of time on the computer and that’s why. I probably need a big monitor to help
Hope you’re having a good night too. The blondies were all kissed about 5 hours ago, they were so tired and put themselves to bed without a story… cute… but I miss story time!
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the power of one.
Your kids put THEMSELVES to bed?!?!?! See? This is why you and Cathy are miracle parents. Is there anyone else on the planet who can raise four children under age 8 to bed themselves without a story? I don’t think so.
You rock. My head feels like I’ve been beating it with a rock…
I so very badly miss the Smurfs. Brainy Smurf was my hero. Why is that show never on anymore?
Good night friend. Hope you don’t have a headache tomorrow. At least it’s Friday. You don’t work weekends, do you?
Good for you, Amy! Tell ‘em all to go shove it.
I used to always work until 4am, and I found I did my best work at night. Now I get up earlier, and guess what? It might make my husband’s and my schedules a little more similar, but my productivity has gone to sh!t.
I know it’s because of the different schedule because I stayed up until 4am a couple of nights ago, and kicked butt.
If it weren’t for the fact that my husband and I are sharing a car right now and my horse is more fun during the day, I’d quit this getting up earlier thing. It SO doesn’t work for me.
Katharine - I’m totally with you on that one!! Here’s to being nocturnal…
BTW, I took a look at your new horse blog the other day. Very cool.
Thanks Amy! I posted some new pictures yesterday, of Panama lying down. He’s so friggin’ cute!
Horses always make me laugh when they lay down. I’ll be over to check the new pics out shortly.
I know, it’s so funny to see an animal that big lying down with its legs tucked up underneath. It’s even funnier when you’re standing over them!
Now I just have to get a picture (or a video) of him rolling… But he hasn’t done that in front of me yet, so it may take a while!
Wait… wait. Horses? Who has horses? Katherine’s?
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..Why Web Workers Should Indulge in Guilty Pleasures
Katharine - Now I remember why I didn’t leave a comment last time I was there. For some reason, your blog freezes up and it takes three times to see the little symbol to type it in. I have no idea why. Think I got it to work this time on the second or third try… Maybe.
Have you ever seen a cow lay down? That is even funnier…
James - see http://www.ponytalesblog.com. Katharine’s horse is very cool.
Was just there clicking around. *sigh* This reminds me so, so much of the ranch I left. (The sad story part, not the wonderful recovery part.)
Now I’m having one of my very rare “miss horses” moments and just ache for the smell of stable. Doesn’t happen often, but it does.
Anyways, it’s all good. I need to remember that good stuff. Thank you, Katherine, for the link.
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..Why Web Workers Should Indulge in Guilty Pleasures
James - she might be willing to mail you some hay.
REALLY???? That’s so bizarre, as I haven’t had ANY problems with it on my end. Crap. Okay, I’ll see if I can locate the source of the problem…
I had a few people complaining about it on my this blog when it was still on Blogger. The best I can figure is that it’s some bug that happened the last time they were “down for maintenance” because that’s when I started getting the emails… and when I decided to let James and Harry convert me to wordpress. I don’t think it’s anything you can fix. The super-strange thing is that it only happens on certain blogs. I still have blogs on Blogger that it’s not happening to. But it seems to hit like one out of three blogs I visit. I haven’t been able to comment on Kathy’s blog either recently.
And some horse poop. Gotta have that authentic barn smell.
I know what you mean, though, James. Horses have a great earthy smell, especially when they sweat. I LOVE the smell of horse sweat. Before we rescued Panama I never could have imagined owning a horse, and now I can’t imagine NOT having one.
I try to update the blog daily, mainly with stories but also with pictures as often as I can. I’d love to have you as a regular reader!
Ok, at the risk of sounding gross I will ask, what the hell does horse sweat smell like?!?!?!
I never knew horses could sweat…
Amy,
Interesting. Thanks for the explanation. I haven’t had the problem at all, even on other people’s blogs, so I had no idea. Maybe I’ll email Blogger about it and see if they’re aware of it. I know they have some updates in the works…
I’d be curious to know if you hear back. I emailed and never got a response.
Horses smell sweet and warm and earthy and like sunshine and fields. Nothing else smells like horses - sweaty or not
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..Why Web Workers Should Indulge in Guilty Pleasures
James - when did you have horses?
Ok, at the risk of sounding gross I will ask, what the hell does horse sweat smell like?!?!?!
Horses.
Honestly, I don’t know how to explain it. But, yes, they sweat like crazy when they get a good workout.
James –
“Like sunshine and fields” is a good description. My horse has taken to keeping himself pretty filthy these days, so he smells like barn dirt a lot, which is why I like the way he smells better when he sweats.
I wish I wasn’t allergic to horses.
@ Amy - I’ve been an equestrian since I was a wee boy. english riding is my thing. Did some shows, won some ribbons…I’ve been riding all my life. Worked some time as a stable manager and head groom, did many years as a trail guide in the bush (Western saddles) and started an English riding school so I could teach lessons.
I didn’t always work in an office, you know.
It’s been a year and a half since I rode. I’ve lost my legs since then and have put riding in that “one day” file in my head. Still deciding whether “one day” is soon or never.
I miss horses. I even miss horse shit.
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..Why Web Workers Should Indulge in Guilty Pleasures
Why did you give it up?
I even miss horse shit.
Does that mean you’re taking me up on my offer?
Hmm… there’s a post in that somewhere. Let me see if I can… Oh. Over at Copywriter Underground in one of the comment sections when he asked how we got started in writing.
Katherine - Yes. At my current standard rates
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..Why Web Workers Should Indulge in Guilty Pleasures
Yes. At my current standard rates
You charge people to send you sh!t?
Oh, wait, or maybe that’s the definition of some of our more difficult client relationships…
LOL
I’m going to go clean up bunny poop now. Not as fragrant as a horse, I imagine, but it’s got to be done.
Katharine, kiss the horse snout for me.
Will do, Amy.
He sticks his nose through the bars of his stall to get kisses now — did I tell you that? It’s friggin’ adorable!
That’s too cute!!! If you ever take a video of that, I want to see!
Got that video for you finally! Check it out on my latest Pony Tales Blog post.
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