Some days I’m completely useless. Today is one of those days. So you can imagine how pleased I was to learn about World Mental Health Day. I was so pleased, in fact, that I’ve started celebrating a day early. Won’t you join me?
7.5 Signs I Need a Day Off
1) I forget how to count.
Not that math has ever been my strong suit. I mean, I gave up on math somewhere during the transition from Algebra (which I rocked at) to Geometry (which I sucked at). But on days like today, numbers just stop making sense. This morning I was putting together an invoice and screwed it up three times, even though I’m using a program that does the math for me.
2) I envision throwing the phone through a wall.
Not that I’m ever a phone person. But when just the sight of the damn thing, just sitting there politely on the table, makes me want to pummel it into the nearest pond (which is pretty far away) I know I’m in rare form.
3) I start making up bad words on clients’ blogs.
I make up words here all the time, but y’all know I’m batshit crazy. My clients somehow don’t share my appreciation for words like dumbfuckage and bullshitedness.
4) I begin overusing the word ratbastard.
Like, three times per sentence. To describe people I normally like.
5) I go on a hunt for a pen and come up (three hours later) with three corn on the cob holder thingies.
And I get pissed that I can’t find a fourth one. Even though I don’t eat corn on the cob.
6) I hate myself more than I hate my enemies.
And if you know me at all, you know this is a big hatred.
7) My phone stops working and I cry.
Even though I wanted to throw said phone into aforementioned pond five minutes prior.
7.5) Blowing my nose seems like too much effort.
And it takes a ten minute argument with myself to do it anyway.
How do you know it’s time for a mental health day?
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
wow…maybe you need to go out and get drunk…or something…
zote63’s last blog post..Exciting new band: Hymns at Maxwell’s…
definatly need to some else to do.
Mike Golch’s last blog post..Big time rant.
I know it’s time on those days where I catch myself trying to put the kettle into the refrigerator! Oh ya, I’ve tried.
Davina’s last blog post..Thanks, It Means The World To Me
zote63 — Too funny. I was thinking about smoking today, and I haven’t done that since February. That should have been #8. Or 7.5.1.
Mike — Hey!! How have you been? (I’d better go read your big time rant now and find out! Hehe.)
Davina — My coffee pot fits nicely in the refrigerator some mornings, so I hear ya!
smoking what???
zote63’s last blog post..Exciting new band: Hymns at Maxwell’s…
Well, not crack. But pretty much anything else. LOL
Well if you ever get to nyc we’ll twist one up…
zote63’s last blog post..Exciting new band: Hymns at Maxwell’s…
It’s a deal. A complete necessity for NYC survival too.
Just as long as we don’t do it on the street….NYC leads the country in arrests for that stuff…good thing I have an apartment…
zote63’s last blog post..Exciting new band: Hymns at Maxwell’s…
That was a cool part about living in San Francisco. On the street was cool.
It used to be that way in nyc but not since Guiliani and now Bloomberg…but who knows, there might be a lot of stockbrokers homeless soon the way things are going and you know, they don’t like to fuck with white people…
zote63’s last blog post..Exciting new band: Hymns at Maxwell’s…
Ha! Yeah, ya never know. I’ll keep some fingers crossed for you on that.
Too funny - but Amy - seriously - that is you - you can’t blame some imaginary illness.
Seriously though - having been a PTSD sufferer - I can honestly say it probably made me far more “normal” to the rest of the world than I was before.
How do you know when all these days are anyway ? They’re never ending - I thought Christmas was bad.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Entrepreneur Interview With Davina Haisell of Crimson Compass
@Amy
Number six reminds me of a Bugs Bunny Cartoon (The Robin Hood Episode).
The Sherriff of Nottingham realizes he’s been tricked by Bugs….he pauses thoughtfully, takes a hammer, and whacks himself in the head, screaming:
“I HATE MYSELF!! …I DO! ….I DO! …..I DO!” (Whack! Whack! Whack!)
We all have days like that.
Friar’s last blog post..More Friar-O-Lanterns (*)
I feel like this all the time. I’ve managed to use the phrase “flaming asshole” 10 times in the last week. It’s hard to find sentences where that phrases goes into.
Matthew Dryden’s last blog post..Don’t Even Bother. (Click That Button Again.)
This is pretty freaking hilarious. But then it makes me cry because it’s true. I think I need a mental health day too. My worst? When cleaning the litter box suddenly seems the most essential, enjoyable and fulfilling thing to do instead of, say, writing. My cat even looks at me like I’m a “dumbfuckage.”
QuietRebelWriter’s last blog post..Writer Profile: Charlie Gilkey of Productive Flourishing
Cath — Everything I ever learned about holidays I learned on twitter. And then, of course, I had to look it up.
I have PTSD too, from childhood trauma. No need to make that one up. It sucks enough all on its own.
Friar — I was looking at a hammer earlier, thinking that. There was no cartoon involved though. That would have been funnier.
Matthew — You rock. I haven’t used the phrase “flaming asshole” in a while. Thanks for reminding me to do that.
Rebel — That’s some total dumbfuckage right there. Ha! Ok, seriously, I get that. Totally. My rabbits sometimes look at me like “Do you really have nothing better to do than watch me eat this carrot? No? Ok, then pet my head. I’ll even put it in your hand for you so you don’t have to make the extra effort.” I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Ha! The ratbastard clients have abs0-friggin-lutely NO sense of humor. Have a good MHD!! You’ve earned it…and from the sound of things…you need it.
Grandy’s last blog post..How Grandy Spends Her Daze
I’ve put the bread and the phone in the fridge.
I know I need a mental health day when I imagine the mattress swallowing me in the mornings~ and I feel disappointed when it doesn’t actually happen.
We all have a little crazy, why not celebrate it!
Jamie Simmerman’s last blog post..A Second Helping of Wisdom from the Net
Hey Jamie.
I think we celebrate crazy here every day! Hehe. I kinda hope the mattress will swallow me whole EVERY morning. Is that wrong? 
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