Mar
10
Admit it. Clients push your buttons sometimes. And you want to pull a Larry David (Seinfeld co-creator) and quit your job at Saturday Night Live, telling that bastard boss exactly where he can shove his big stick. But you know you’d regret it. Because you care about your professional reputation.
Welcome to my day.
Despite the fact that I’m still half-dead from mono and more-frequently-than-not battling the urge to smoke nearly three weeks after quitting, it takes a lot to make me angry. But when it happens, watch out. Once ignited, I’m on a flaming warpath for destruction. I like to blame my ability to transform from charming to deadly in 3.2 seconds on the fact that I’m a scorpio, but unfortunately astrology doesn’t hold up in a court of law.
In my freelance writing career, keeping my inner-jackass in check is a constant challenge. Between some of the ignorant assholes who post on writing forums and the pathetic freaks who think they can hire me for four cents a day, there’s plenty of piss-offable material out there to choose from. But little of that stirs me anymore.
The biggest thing that gets to me? Clients who want me to do something unethical, and when I decline, act like I’m the one with the problem. “Look who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!” “Is it that time of the month?” “You must be kidding!” Well, if you must know, the other side of my bed faces a wall, I don’t menstruate again for another week and a half, and I’m damn serious.
It was all I could do not to tell this guy to bite my ass. Seriously.
And I don’t need the money. I could replace this client in a heartbeat. I could NOT replace him and get by just fine with the workload I have.
The thing is, I’ve vowed to myself to keep my inner-jackass in check. If I drop a client, I do so professionally. I respond to ignorant asshole-ary with dignity. Because lawyers talk. And I have a good thing going. I want the good ones to still email me to say, “Hey, I’ve heard you’re the best.” I don’t want to run into them at Starbucks and have them point and whisper, “Isn’t that the chick that busted into Mr. X’s office and beat him to death with his stapler?”
So instead of responding with rage, I will wait until I’ve cooled off.
I will go offline for a bit and eat some supper, play with my pet rabbits, maybe read a little more of the Charles de Lint book I bought a few weeks ago. I will slip my inner-jackass some Trident and remind myself that I have choices.
How do you appease your inner-jackass?
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11 Responses to “Appeasing Your Inner-Jackass: Dealing With Clients Who Piss You Off”
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About Amy Derby
Formerly a corporate paralegal, I ditched the pantyhose to begin freelancing in 2004. I enjoy long walks to the coffee maker, never setting an alarm clock, and not wearing a bra to the (home) office. I can be reached at amy.derby (at) gmail.com.
I rent a comedy. What About Bob is good.
Wishing your inner jackass inner peace today.
I often write down exactly what I’d like to say and delete it just to get it out. There’s something therapeutic about stamping your fingers angrily and telling your client what you really want to say.
Then I take a deep breath and deal with it in a politically correct way.
Great post!
Laugh/cry based on current hormone state
Bach Rescue Remedy
Deep breathing
Write real response in personal diary
Read Writing Frump/Screw You! latest
Smile at boss and read some feeds while I calm down (I’m still desk-tied)
Write something amazing (I got a tick and ‘good’ last time! Maybe I’ll get a ‘well done’ sticker on it next time.)
Off to yoga, deadline over…stay freelance and keep those option open
Namaste
Good ideas all of you. I will use some of these next time.
Hi, Amy. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Just not enough time in the day to write all the things we’d like to write all the things we’d like to write and read all the words we want to read. So life’s already too short to deal with, well, idiots. Malcolm Forbes once said the way he got ahead was to cut out all the negative people from his life. I think he was right. Joan
Your blog post is so timely it’s scary. Last night I received a really nasty email from a client who I’ve bent over backward for.
Usually, I rant and rave and find a way to avoid the client until I can sort it out in my mind and calm down - this can take weeks.
This time I decided my mental health was worth more than days and days of anger and stress so I called her up, recorded the conversation for posterity:-) and we sorted everything out. I have to say that I’m really proud of myself.
Oh, and I did write a blog post to vent about the proper way to build a relationship with your freelance writer.
@Joan - I think if I cut out all the negative people, I’d lose one of my personalities.
But good thinking! I like that!
@Anon - Happy to be timely.
I’m glad you were able to make the call and sort it out. Ten years ago, when I first entered the big bad working world, I was very anti-confrontation. Even five years later I was very passive-aggressive about it. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more experienced at dealing with it now or what, but the confrontation thing has gotten easier for me. I just have to tame myself down to a respectable manner before I do it. Blogging does help, doesn’t it? Inspired rant #457, brought to you by Pissed Off Chick — hehe.
Actually, Amy, I’ve never been able to do it either. I’d have to eliminate all my relatives if I cut out the negative people in my life. Including my mom. Especially my mom.
Joan, I could do a whole other post about mothers.
[…] Appeasing Your Inner-Jackass: Dealing With Clients Who Piss You Off […]
I know it may sound too theoretical but if we face the issues and the mission’s objective and park the ego’s power play, like a matador letting the bull slip by elegantly daringly close maybe we can regroup and get some work done.
But then the exception when the thorn’s barb jabs and gets lodged under our skin or the goring horn tries or succeeds to disembowel.
I leave Exorcist and Picador off my resume; but they are skills too often needed and used. I am only paid for results on the original objective. I should consider add-on line items; contingencies for cruel and unusual complexities, obstacles to be surmounted like personality disorders and lack of professionalism.
Amy, I’ll spare you the rest of the rant; JA kicking the barn door, we all have war stories and scars.
Alan