There is no such thing as a perfect client. Some will be a better fit than others — higher pay, better communicator, kinder nature. But none will be perfect.

“I used to candle eggs at his farm… You hold an egg up to the light of a candle and you look for imperfections. The first time I did it he told me to put all the eggs that were cracked or flawed into a bucket for the bakery. And he came back an hour later, and there were 300 eggs in the bakery bucket. He asked me what the hell I was doing. I’d found a flaw in every single one of them… You look closely enough, you’ll find that everything has a weak spot where it can break, sooner or later.” (Anthony Hopkins’ character in the movie Fracture)

If you hold any client to the candle, you’ll find flaws. The choice becomes deciding whether you’re willing to sell the egg anyway.

A Billion Eggs, One Basket

There is only so much time in the day. There are an infinite number of potential clients. We’ve got choices to make.

High Rates vs High Maintenance:

A common mistake is looking for high paying work without considering other factors. I’ve done it myself. But the highest pay rate might not necessarily be the best choice. If he’s picky, stubborn, can’t make up his mind, doesn’t respond to questions, then takes three months to pay your invoice, was he really worth that higher price? Personally, I’d rather take on two lower paying jobs for easier going, more straightforward folks who pay on time. Of course, high paying low-maintenance clients will always be my first choice, but I’m willing to compromise for the sake of my own mental health.

A Billion Flaws, One Basketcase

There are many kinds of clients, but for me there are basically two kinds: ones I want to work with and ones I don’t. I’m getting good at differentiating them in the dark.

Workable vs Disaster:

I used to avoid doing phone consultations, because it was easier to get everything in writing via email from the beginning. Now I’m leaning toward calls more, because it’s easier to spot a nutjob over the phone. I don’t blend well with certain types of people. I can work for neurotics with attention deficit disorder; I don’t do so well with passive-aggressive. Having a screening process that works is important, and every freelancer’s screen-o-meter will vary.

Smarter Basket, Happier Eggs

When I’m feeling out a potential client, I like to find those weak spots. That way I can use the places they’ll crack to my advantage. I become a better basket, anticipating the places I need to compensate for my client’s vulnerabilities.

Intelligence vs Ignorance:

Sometimes a client’s faults and shortcomings will make for your best business. Clients who don’t understand blogging, know nothing about SEO and don’t know what social media is will usually stand out of my way and let me do my thing. All they care about is the results; they don’t care how I get them. Clients who know a little about blogging or SEO etc., will often want to dictate what they think will work, then blame me for not getting the right results based on their faulty methods. Some clients are clueless but easily educated; they want to learn, and they take right to it. Others prefer to remain ignorant. While I can work with both types, I like to know where I stand in either case. This helps me better allocate my time and determine my rates, which vary greatly per project based hugely on this factor.

How do you take your eggs?

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