As those of you who know me personally already know, I’ve been out of commission for the past month or so with a debilitating case of mono. For the first time in my freelance writing career, I had to approach clients and say, “I’m too sick to work.” Because I carried my workaholic tendencies over to my freelance life, I’ve always praised myself for doing whatever it takes to get a job done. I’ve stayed up all night to meet deadlines, I’ve worked through periods of vomiting, and I’ve hired on additional help when necessary. To make those phone calls and compose those emails to clients saying my doctor ordered me to bed rest for an undetermined period of time made me sick to my stomach. I write and blog primarily for lawyers; in most cases, these are people with strict deadlines, frequent last-minute emergencies and above-average demands for excellence. How would they react to my “Sorry, but I’ve got to take care of myself for I’m not sure how long” proclamation?
One client let me go. The others (surprisingly) did whatever they had to do to accommodate me, because they wanted me back. I honestly dreaded checking in each week and having to tell these people I still wasn’t capable of coming back (since I still couldn’t sit up for more than half an hour, even in bed with my laptop). But it was a nice ego-boost to know that for the most part my clients value me and didn’t want to lose me. And last Friday, when I composed that email saying I’d be able to return to work this week, it was nice to be greeted by so many “welcome back“s rather than my anticipated “sorry we’ve replaced you“s.
Going back to work has been the truly hard part.
Since most of the work I do involves staying on top of the latest news and pleadings (legal papers) filed in cases related to the practices of the attorneys I write/blog for, I subscribe to a LOT of email lists to stay on top of fun stuff like product/drug/food recalls and new corporate bankruptcies filed. Facing an inbox of 9,000 emails (not including the spam folder) was a bit overwhelming. Going back to review what other writers and bloggers had covered in my absence took a while. Getting caught up on everything else, I finally had to admit to myself, wouldn’t be possible.
I’m trying not to stress myself out too much because while sick I also quit smoking, and I’m trying hard not to go back. In case that wasn’t incentive enough, my doctor has told me that mono can come back if you push yourself too hard. So, I’m trying to drop my OCD-like perfectionism tendencies as much as I can and just do my best, but it’s daunting.
Hopefully I’ll be back in the swing of things soon.
